


Expedient Means

by hoopdedoop



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-12 16:05:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12963114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoopdedoop/pseuds/hoopdedoop
Summary: Celebrate the things you share.





	Expedient Means

“It’s not something you would understand.”

Dismissal at the first take. A low move, but effective nonetheless. Efficient, even if it comes with a cost.

Byakuren realizes, oh, she knows. She knows, therefore the voice inside her mind comes alive with a furious roar. The implications do not surprise her, but the delivery is cheap. Someone else might even say it was out of character.

She would be the last to ever give Miko credit and, that too, shows her own pettiness. The pettiness that they share, that they invoke in each other.

The roar echoes not inside her mind. Byakuren absorbs the blow quite gracefully. Oh, if only she could manage to stay quiet, and let it all go by.

Byakuren is graceful, but still not graceful enough.

“Why would you say that?”

The delivery is calm, full to the brim with counterfeit curiosity. Byakuren can’t claim to read minds, or hear the voices of people’s desires, no; it not that she knows. She doesn’t care.

Miko dislikes the question, but not because it’s unexpected. No, she dislikes it because it is dull, she thinks, yes, and yet, all the different possible responses almost burst involuntarily from her chest.

“Because, isn’t it true, Hijiri? Whatever else could amount in a lifestyle and conviction such as yours, if not sheer naivete of remarkable magnitude?”

They are seated next to each other, by an unlucky accident it is said, but no doubt it is a crude prank. Time and time again the eyes of the other guests of the banquet are on them.

They expect drama, entertainment, and for once, Miko and Byakuren may just join together for a common cause.

“Do you think that living alongside youkai, and that a thousand years of atonement in Makai teaches naivety, Ms. Miko?” With her retort, Byakuren sought eye contact. The coldness in her voice faded when matched with the fire in her eyes.

Miko looked at her, and admitted to herself it was an interesting response. With the confidence of someone who had shed the fear of death alongside her humanity, she considered it.

It went without saying, she and Byakuren were the same. They had time, if anything.

They could do this forever, quite literally.

“I don’t know of your life.” Miko said finally. “All I can go by is the results before me.”

“Oh, I fear you lack imagination.” Byakuren said it with humor.

“No, I do not. It is you who is far too imaginative.” Miko wouldn’t let that one pass her by.

“Perhaps then, it is simply a matter of you not knowing me as well as you think you do?”

It almost sounded like an invitation. Miko hadn’t been able to think of anything that would make her regret this topic of conversation, but she may have been wrong.

“Oh, please,” She tried to laugh, all while keeping her voice down. “I know you well enough to know you’re a liar.”

“For someone such as yourself, that may not be a statement worth proclaiming. Don’t you think?” Byakuren was fast.

“Perhaps,” Miko admitted. “Perhaps.” She repeated.

She turned to drinking.

“I have never claimed to be fully truthful.” The mildness was overbearing. Byakuren might try and turn anything into a virtue. As long as it was remotely self-aware.

“Ah,” Miko slapped her knee. “Once more, she lies!” Miko almost laughed. It was quite funny, honestly. At least Byakuren seemed to think so, judging by her smile.

“As for you, wouldn’t you try and convince me that lies are the tools of your trade?”

“Oh, no, please, you give me too much credit.” It was a standard, nonsense answer.

They had strayed far enough from the original topic. Miko would bicker for all it’s worth, but may it at least be about something of value.

“Other than these lies, tell me, Hijiri,” She considered her wording carefully. “What has your life taught you, that would vouch for your so-claimed experiences?”

A response well prepared, Byakuren spoke with an eerie calmness.

“That I may repay my dept, for this undying body, by giving up my virtue, my mind and soul consumed by black magic, so that I could lead others onto the path of enlightenment.”

Appearing gracious, Miko gave her a moment of silence. In reality, she was amused.

“… Upāya?”

Byakuren lowered her head.

“Upāya.”

Her mood improved ten-fold, Miko poured another drink, and as she looked Byakuren in the eye, she held it up before her.

“For upāya. Allow the means to become an end.”

“… Ms. Miko, you know I don’t drink.”

“Not even for the sake of celebration? I’m sure, if the two of us think hard enough, it won’t be hard to justify in the morning.”

“I don’t drink for anything, I fear.” Byakuren smiled. “Not anymore.”

She let out a sigh she thought she had strangled. “My soul has already been dyed black enough, by saké, and by many other indulgent things.”

“Finally!” Miko exclaimed. “Finally she speaks truthful words!”

A shared laugh. They exchanged glances.

“It’s really too bad you don’t drink.” Miko said. “Because that just now, that was something worth celebrating.”

“You wish to celebrate your own mistakes?” Byakuren tied back to their original topic with a smile.

“This is a victory, Hijiri.” Miko leered. “You’ll give me that at least, won’t you?”

“It is a shared victory, Ms. Miko.”

Miko shook her head, but her laughter betrayed her.

A small victory shared, but no alcohol. There was never the satisfaction of a toast to celebrate.

However, the night is long.

They set the pettiness aside. 

They spoke of other things.

       

       

      

       

       

      

       

       

      

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this is a tumblr repost from 2ish years ago, inspired by my late night researchings of mahayana buddhist terminology and concepts done for other stories and essays. 

Upaya (Sanskrit: upāya, expedient means, pedagogy) is a term used in Mahayana Buddhism to refer to an aspect of guidance along the Buddhist Paths to liberation where a conscious, voluntary action is driven by an incomplete reasoning about its direction. - wikipedia

it's a matter of teachings that do not directly lead to enlightenment but that may indirectly do just that, although in some cases these expedient means may even contradict Buddhist teachings. I recommend reading "Parable of the burning house".

as for what Miko and Byakuren were meant to be discussing as the first line is dropped, I barely remember, but it probably had something to do with youkai not being able to absorb the teachings of a monk probably, in the sense that Miko is implying Byakuren is foolish for being driven by compassion rather than logic. i think.

anyway thx for reading this old self-indulgent clump of prose that I am probably way too proud of. cheers


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